⏳ Erebus Growing | 0015 - Discipline trumps motivation, always

Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

It’s a busy period of life right now given the ending of an academic year in higher education.

That means all sorts of events, shows, ceremonies, long days, short nights, and endings to come.

And it’s a period of change in my life as I move into considering what’s next in my journey.

My time here in Oneonta seems to be coming to an end.

The good news is that if it is the end, it means there are so many beginnings around the corner.

That’s a story for another week though.

With all of this busyness comes a need to care for me—to pour into myself before I give to others. And as I share below, I didn’t do that yesterday which made things difficult.

You cannot give to others if you are not full and satisfied. You shouldn’t give to others until you are able to.

But yesterday, discipline saved me, and I talk more about it below.

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

In December 2021, on a whim, I committed to rowing 2,183 miles, the long length of the Great Wall of China virtual challenge from The Conqueror Challenges.

An absurd challenge for someone who had only started rowing just 2 months prior, and even then had only started rowing because it was going to be winter and I wanted to keep up my physical exercise.

Little did I know what was to come.

I started out, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, full of hope, excitement, and eagerness.

Then a couple of months in, it sucked.

Then the halfway point, and excitement, then back into the long slog when I was only adding 6.2 miles each day.

It seemed like I would never get there.

BUT

I had done the math.

I knew that I only needed to show up and complete those 6.2 miles—10,000 meters—each day, and I would meet my goal.

This was one of the first goals I had set for myself and told no one about.

Hardly anyone knew I was rowing. Even fewer knew it was towards this goal.

This was for me.

There were days when the 10k meters flew by. I sat down and got up and that was it.

There were days I pushed myself, rowing as much as 25k meters in one sitting. The running time of any extended edition Lord of the Rings (or the Hobbit) movies.

There were very few days that I skipped, and even then it was always intentional if I did.

But I always showed up.

That year of rowing is a defining moment in my life.

It built an unbreakable need for exercise every day in my life.

This year, I tried taking a rest day on Sundays and have given that up.

My body craves some sort of exertion every day now.

And yesterday, it was particularly difficult.

I had an additional full day at my 9-5 for a special event. And I failed to pour into myself before I did anything else.

And failing to pour into myself first showed.

I finished my workday and came back to my apartment, fully intending to go on a walk. I didn’t.

I wanted to play video games, I wanted to read, I wanted to scroll on my phone.

But I knew that I still needed to row.

So I sat down and turned on Grey’s Anatomy (I watch something to pass the time rowing).

I watched an episode and a half, sitting on my rowing machine, not rowing.

In all, yesterday I spent almost three hours on my rowing machine for a session of 10k meters which usually takes me 50 minutes or so.

But I finished my 10k meters.

In the end, discipline won out over motivation.

Discipline trumps motivation, always.

Show up for yourself because you owe it to yourself—not because you want to.

The desire to do something will fade away.

Build your life and foundation on discipline.

📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.

Read.
This is a bit of a different reading resource. I stumbled across it a few weeks ago on Instagram and I’ve come back to it over and over in my head. In short, the average optimistic lifespan for a human being is 4,576 weeks. This app calculates how many you’ve lived and how many you have left. Use it at your own risk. It likely will give you pause to consider how much life you have remaining. It did for me. But then it started something in me. A realization of how short life is and how much I still want to do. Give it a read here.

📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

Where will you benefit from more discipline in your life?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.