⏳ Erebus Growing | 0018 - Does life happen to us or for us

Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

The past few weeks have been busy with the end of the term arriving and with it, the close of the academic year.

This year, we’re also losing a high-level administrator who has been a mentor for me over the past four years.

So, there are a lot of changes coming from the 9-5, likely including a new supervisor for me.

I’m spending time growing my late-night garden and enjoying learning with intent, so, things have been working well so far.

As I enter into the next couple of weeks with a slower pace (followed by a flurry of three or four days), I have a full week off at the end of this month.

That week, I want to use to fully dive into the content creation, consumption, and writing environment.

Change is constant, and life happens—so enjoy change and life.

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

Does life happen to us or for us?

For a long time, I never really quite grasped the idea here.

That changed a couple of months ago, and since then, I’ve been meditating on this concept.

If life happens to us, we tend to automatically think “Woe is me—there’s nothing I can do to prevent this.” We tend to adopt a victim mentality and succumb to the idea that life is terrible.

If life happens for us, we tend to look at it more from a curious mentality. We tend to think “What am I learning from this?”

It’s learning the difference between surviving and thriving.

— ⏳ —

My core spiritual beliefs are changing. I grew up as a Christian and to me, it’s the ultimate life happens to us mentality.

We have to rely on an external being to save us from ourselves and things that go wrong do so because we need to be taught to rely on that being.

My beliefs are changing toward life happens for us. It teaches us how to grow, stretch, and bloom into our eternal selves. It brings us through conflicts and troubles to help us grow.

I’ve started to see myself as an eternal spiritual being having a wholly human experience. And in this experience, when I was born, all of my life was taken and hidden from me.

Life is about finding and uncovering those parts of me—learning who I am as an eternal spiritual being—and regaining those memories.

And the universe conspires towards you to help you in that process.

• If you struggle with money, it’s possible that the universe is helping you to rethink your relationship with it; to see it as more of a means to an end rather than the end.

• If you struggle with intimacy, it’s possible that the universe is helping you to engage with yourself and heal yourself before you damage others unintentionally.

• If you struggle with your health, it’s possible that the universe is helping you to slow down and live life intentionally; to embrace the gift and experience that is humanity.

• If you struggle with formal education, it’s possible that the universe is helping you to know that there are so many different kinds of smart people in the world; that formal education is not always a necessity and sometimes a detriment.

— ⏳ —

The next time you find yourself in a difficult position, stop and take a moment.

Consider, what are you experiencing and how are you feeling. And then, work through the next few steps to start exploring the moment.

1. Take a breath. The first step is to get into a calmer state of mind.

2. Ask yourself if you’re safe. Often, just understanding you’re safe in this present moment can help to ground you.

3. Consider what’s causing the unease. Is it a bill? Deadline? Mistake? Something fixable? Or something “unfixable?”

4. Understand the actual issue. Understand where your mind is telling you the truth and where it’s lying to you. Our brains are built to solve problems and sometimes they’re really good at making them up too.

5. If you need to, identify one step you can take to address the issue. Don’t go building a huge 17-step plan. Just identify one step and then do it.

6. When the issue is resolved (however you might define that), consider what might be at the core of it. Remember, the universe is conspiring to help you, to embrace you, and to help you grow back into the eternal spiritual being you are.

Life happens for you. It happens to help you regain your eternal self, to shed the mortality that you’ve been wrapped in.

Embrace life headstrong and live and breathe and expand and grow.

Don’t fall victim to a smaller belief that you are simply a pawn tossed callously onto the chessboard of the universe.

📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.

Watch.
Some number of years ago, I came across Sir Ken Robinson. A world-renowned education and creativity expert, Robinson opened my eyes to a new world of understanding around the education system. With his passing in 2020, he came back to mind and I enjoyed a number of his talks. He came to mind again this week after a conversation I had this past weekend with some friends from Twitter. I thought I would share a talk from him this week. Give it a watch here.

Listen.
Today, I listened to a podcast from How to Take Over the World, a show hosted by Ben Wilson, on Leonardo Da Vinci. An absolutely fascinating start to his story. One key lesson that came out of it: follow your obsession to really become excellent, even if it means leaving things half-finished. I can’t wait for the next part to come out. Give it a listen here.

📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

Where have you been approaching things in life as though they happen to you instead of for you?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.