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- ⏳ Erebus Growing | 0021 - Growing into yourself, part 1
⏳ Erebus Growing | 0021 - Growing into yourself, part 1
Growth is simply understanding and better defining who you are
Jeff Barker
May 28, 2023
Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.
It’s been quite the week with no work.
I have one more day off tomorrow before I’m back for four weeks or so.
This week has honestly been a lot of mental exploration about who I am and who I want to be.
It’s not been actively working on my business, but the best way to build a business is to work on yourself sometimes.
I’ll see you next weekend!
👨🏻💻 Meditation
When we’re young, we cry. And we cry for everything.
It’s our default emotion, taught from birth.
Make noise and someone will respond and care.
But, at some point, it’s likely that changes for each of us.
We learn new emotions, new words, new descriptions to explain how we feel.
It’s exactly like the emotion wheel from The Junto Institute.
Emotion Wheel from The Junto Institute displaying more specific emotion words as you move from the center of the wheel to the outside.
As we grow older, we grow into our emotions.
We learn new ways to display emotions beyond crying and/or screaming.
We learn about what feeling joy, peace, neglected, passionate, worried, and awe-struck means.
And in moments of overwhelm, where we don’t know what else to do—don’t know what emotion to feel—those default reactions of crying and/or screaming resurface.
But this exploration of emotions, it’s one part of personal growth. I explored it this past week in my journaling one evening.
It was late, but my mind was running. And I came to a point.
As we grow, we don’t change. We become better at explaining who we are.
We uncover parts of ourselves that we couldn’t quite understand at first (whether we weren’t ready to or just didn’t have the knowledge to).
It reminds me of coming out to people in my life.
The idea that I’ve always been that person, but I’m now willing and able to let others in to see it.
And there’s a scene in Love, Simon, that in my mind illustrates this idea.
This scene always caught me when I would watch it.
It drives home this idea that growth is simply understanding and better defining who we are. We aren’t really changing, but becoming more us.
Simon: Did you know?
Emily: I knew you had a secret. When you were little, you were so carefree. But these last few years, more and more, it almost like I can feel you holding your breath. I wanted to ask you about it, but I didn't want to pry. Maybe I made a mistake.
Simon: No. No, mom, you didn't make a mistake.
Emily: Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you're the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.
At the same time, growth is stripping away the outside that has been provided to us and rebuilding it in our own life—but that’s for next week.
📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.
Watch.
This week, I stumbled on a couple of older videos on YouTube that always fascinated me. I always enjoy seeing people’s passions and people who are simply experts or just very, very good at what they do. Should you find yourself wanting to take a gander down a different YouTube video, give this one of a guy unclogging a flooded street a watch. Give it a watch here.
Watch.
I’m sharing another video series I’ve been watching on YouTube. It’s all about British highschoolers trying new Korean foods and it’s been amazing every time. I’m starting to see some of it in my own life as I try new foods that just a few years ago I wouldn’t have looked twice at. Give it a watch here.
📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.
What emotions in your life have you leaned into and explored recently?
Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.
