⏳ Erebus Growing | 0023 - Steps back and steps forward

Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

It’s been a long week, but today I can play some Ultimate Frisbee which I haven’t done in a good number of years.

I also got cherries from the grocery store today for cheap.

And I have an extra paycheck coming this week.

It’s been a long but good week with another exciting one coming up!

Now, I’m off to play some frisbee!

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

If you have to take a step back, take one forward as well.

This past week, I started a part-time job. I’m not super thrilled, but it’s needed to keep my financial progress in motion.

I’m feeling the effects of inflation and finally the ramifications of my grandmother dying. When she was dying, she got whatever she wanted. I wasn’t upset about the financial ramifications.

Getting a part-time job seems counter-productive to my long-term goals.

After all, I want to work one job that’s running my own business—not exactly the same thing.

My part-time job is with a national home improvement store in their outside lawn and garden center.

I know that my eventual business, The Livingroom, will contain a greenhouse/sunroom situation, maybe a garden of some type too.

So, I figured that if I have to take a step back with a part-time job, I might as well take a step forward too.

I only worked four days this week and it exhausted me.

I have a whole new respect for people who consistently work two jobs.

And, if nothing else, this week has shown me two things:

1. I don’t want to have a retail job because of the scheduling.

2. I’ve not been working hard enough on my own projects.

My time right now is not my own.

And it won’t be until I own the business I work for—until I work for myself.

I am absolutely enjoying the work I’m doing at my part-time, but it’s reminded me why I want my own business.

To own my time.

Having to plan ahead and being told when I’m required to be there—having my vacation, established prior to my employment there, disrupted…it’s an issue.

One that I don’t want to deal with.

But I will for now. I get to learn more about plants, landscaping, and other things. And, most importantly at this very moment, I get money to help stabilize and boost my current financial situation.

But, it also shows me that I could be doing so much more for my own projects.

I’ve been slacking.

I know this and I’ve been choosing to brush it off as though I’m still planning (or tired, after this week).

The reality is, I just don’t want to do anything.

And now I’ve been “forced” to through the part-time.

Between the part-time and the 9-5, I haven’t had a ton of time on a day when I work both.

I now claim those days when it’s just the 9-5 as recovery days.

Let’s be frank: they’re not.

They’re me not wanting to do anything.

And I don’t subscribe to laziness. I subscribe to my vision is not powerful enough.

It’s not real enough.

I’ve fallen into a trap I didn’t know existed.

I waste time because I know how to do that.

What I don’t exactly know is how to use my time to move me toward my highest life.

But I’m learning.

I’m learning that even when I have to take a step back, I can take a step forward.

📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.

Read.
This letter from Dan Koe was incredibly insightful to me some weeks ago when I finally read it. As a recovering Christian, the concept of God is an interesting one. I’ll let you read and make your own decision though. Give it a read here.

📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

What is one place you’ve taken a step back and a step forward in your life?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.