⏳ Erebus Growing | 0031 - Not living with worry, part 2

Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

I just wrapped up a batch of “Middle Eastern Chickpea Bowls” for lunch this week. I needed a quick meal that would taste good and I’m excited about them.

They were one of the first meals I picked up from the meal kit I tried and after I ate them I was stunned at the flavor available when you use herbs and spices.

It started to make sense why so many people who are plant-based don’t worry about getting enough flavor or eating super bland food.

I advocate you should try new foods. If for no other reason than our flavor profiles change over time.

All I can say is I’m excited for lunch tomorrow.

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

I wanted to reflect a bit further on last week’s topic: worry.

Because I find it’s continued to be a lesson even this week…and we’re gonna talk about relationships a bit today.

I had a friend reach out to me and tell me that she had a friend who had a friend who was looking to meet someone. (Is that enough friends for you yet?)

She ask me if I would be interested in potentially being connected with him.

I’m very much single. And enjoying being single. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want some type of relationship.

And, personally, I’ve given up on dating apps. Modern dating, in case you don’t know, is hard.

I finally settled on I’m just going to keep living my life and not worrying about when a relationship comes to fruition.

Then, my friend contacted me.

Much to my surprise, I said, “Sure.”

It’s not uncommon, as a gay man, to imagine life moving forward rapidly when you think about meeting someone. Especially, as a millennial.

You see, I grew up when I was told not to hang out with the other gay boys in my school. (At least the three that we knew of.) I was told it was a sin. I was told “I’m not sure if we can trust you around your brother” by my parents.

Being gay…well, was terrible.

I never really had a relationship, so people my age tend to fast forward through things because we feel like we have to make up time.

And this time is genuinely the first time where that hasn’t happened.

I’ve been content and shared a few pictures for my friend to pass along and we’re going to see what happens.

I’m not worrying about a relationship that might happen.

I’ll worry about it if it happens.

And I’ve had so much more peace this time around.

Instead of imagining the future and being disappointed when it doesn’t work out exactly as I saw it, I’m just existing—breathing—enjoying, and letting things happen.

I go to work at the 9-5, and on days when I need to, I go to the part-time. And I work on myself in the interim.

Because I’m building a life.

That life will be there whether this potential relationship goes anywhere or not—so I can’t stop building my life. And I shouldn’t build my life with someone in it until they’re actually in it.

Work towards not worrying about things that might not happen (or sometimes about things that are inevitable like the death of a grandparent).

📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.

Watch.
One of my favorite YouTube channels that I think I’ve shared before is Rainbow Plant Life. Nisha Vora, the creator of the channel, is a brilliant plant-based cook who produces a ton of amazing recipes. Her Mexican Black Beans and her Cilantro-Lime Rice are two of my absolute favorite recipes. Seriously, once I made her black beans recipe, I have not been able to look at any other black beans the same. They’re all just a disappointment when it comes to the flavor department! I highly recommend looking up and following Nisha on Rainbow Plant Life. Give it a watch here.

📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

If if were just you in life (i.e., no family responsibilities to worry about or plan for), what would your highest life look like?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.