Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

This week starts a long two weeks of work at the part-time and ten, four and a half hour training sessions at the 9-5. On top of that, applying to other positions and completing my standard work at the 9-5.

It’s going to be busy busy but I’ve got a two-week semi-vacation coming up for the last two weeks of December. I’ll be off from the 9-5 but working at the part-time.

So, I’ll be reading some more, writing, and overall just enjoying life as we move through the holidays of the winter months. Plus, I’ll need to take a moment as I prepare for the flurry that the first five months of 2024 will bring with my lease ending in May.

I’ll likely be moving into a new place and a new 9-5 for the next three to five years, so this coming year will be a rush for sure.

Ever onward!

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

Changing your life, growing into who you are; people are not going to get it.

They just won’t.

Some might even rebel such that you have to cut them out.

I have a dear friend from high school that I had to cut out.

We were probably 14/15 when we met. She quickly became a close and good friend of mine. (We even tried dating and it didn’t work out for reasons that will be apparent soon.)

We spent a ton of time together through school, Upward Bound (a program to help low-income, first-generation students prepare to go to college/university in the US), and most particularly through a youth group at a local church.

We both experienced evangelical Christianity together.

That started to change when I realized that I wasn’t attracted to women but men.

I’ll shorten a lot of history, but we remained friends for a little while. It died off when I went away to my undergrad and started the process of coming to terms with my sexuality.

Very, very long story short, a few years ago, I received a message via Facebook Messenger from her. In it, she essentially stated that she’s still trying to work through reconciling my life choices with her religious beliefs. And she still prays that I’ll come back to the religion.

When you change your life, you are changing your life.

I won’t end up going back to the religion. In my life, it has done nothing but cause me pain and hurt.

My life has become better after I left.

For some people, religion serves them well. It gives them what they need in their life.

The funny thing about changing your life is that it will cause discomfort.

Discomfort in you and those around you.

The only discomfort you need to worry about is your own.

If someone else is uncomfortable with your changes in your life, that’s on them.

My friend became so uncomfortable with the change in my life that I received two very long messages in which she admitted that she constantly had to make my sexuality the center of the rare conversations that we had because she could not reconcile it with her beliefs.

You do not owe them anything.

(Note that I don’t and would never advocate causing intentional discomfort for the sake of discomfort; that’s simply mean.)

People strive to change their lives for the better.

Only you know what in your life you want to change and will benefit from.

No one else can make that decision.

The reality is, as humans, we are selfish creatures.

We don’t like seeing others win.

We don’t want to see others thriving while we’re only surviving.

This all occurs before you change your mindset.

That’s the first thing in your life you have to change before anything else can truly be impacted.

Changing from scarcity to abundance is what triggers so many things.

When you start to view the world from an abundance mindset, you start to realize that everyone can win when we’re only playing for enough.

The world is changing and winning looks very different now than it used to.

Now, the “winners” are people like Dan Koe, Justin Welsh, Sahil Bloom, Ali Abdaal, Tiago Forte, Justin Scott, and Sean Anthony. (Admittedly, a very small selection of people who, in my view, have “won.”)

People are growing to recognize that the “winners” are not the magnates that previous generations have seen and lifted up.

There are two things different about this group of “winners” that I’ve seen:

• They don’t categorize themselves as “winners;” and

• They want others to follow in their footsteps and become “winners” too.

These people want you to succeed so they champion you and tell you how they got their success while emphasizing that you have to identify how you can grow and contribute to the world.

They say out loud, “You can’t be me, but you can be you. Here is the system I used that you can take so you don’t struggle like I did.”

There is nothing but a desire to see others struggle less, to help others evolve and change their lives.

This often is a stark comparison to how people you know might respond, even your own family and friends.

That selfish mindset comes out.

You have to be willing to risk what you have to gain what you don’t.

Changing your life is a risk. Luckily, you’re already at the bottom.

If you want to become a solopreneur, go for it.

The worst thing that can happen is you go back to a 9-5 and try again.

But you have to be willing to take the jump without seeing exactly where you might land.

After all, those who are at the top and genuinely want to see you succeed will say nothing of your failed attempts other than “You’re one more step closer to winning.”

📚 Inspiration and Resources
Every week we all consume content and I share my favorites here.

Creating.
I have always played video games as a way to enjoy myself while feeling like I am growing. Some advocate for not playing because it gives you a false sense of improving, I say ignore them. You can learn some very real-world skills from them and you can build some amazing friendships too. One of my favorite games that I return to time and time again is Skyrim. The world of The Elder Scrolls is stunning in so many ways and I cannot encourage it enough. Give it a look here.

📓 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

Are you hesitant about changing any place in your life because of someone else?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.