Welcome to Erebus Growing, a weekly email where I share little snippets of life to help you change and grow into your highest life.

This coming week is going to be my busiest week in a long time. I’m at the part-time from 6 pm to 10 pm for four nights after working a full day at my 9-5.

I’m going to be tired but happy as it only improves the money I have for my move in the middle of the summer.

We’re slowly getting things together for this move but it’s going to require some hard decisions.

👨🏻‍💻 Meditation

A couple of weeks ago, I started counting calories.

It was the next logical step in my journey to honor my body. (I was admittedly spurred on a bit by a colleague who had a heart attack not even three weeks ago.)

I’m comfortable with my body, but I know I don’t honor it as well as I could.

With my upcoming move to a new 9-5, new area, and new season of life, this was a great time to make the change!

I’ve been pretty good about it too.

I had a couple of moments where I didn’t want to log something because it would put me over my calorie count for that day.

That was where lesson #1 came into my head.

If I can’t be honest with myself, I can’t be honest with others.

Seriously, right now the only person seeing anything of the calories I’m counting is me.

And I genuinely didn’t want to be honest with myself about how much I ate.

It showed me just how deeply ingrained my feelings were.

And if I’m not honest with myself, how will I be honest with a personal trainer? (When I find one, of course.)

My first step is to be clear and honest with myself. Then, I can expand it to others.

I believe that some of it comes from fear of judgment, that somehow I’m less or behind simply because this is what I’m doing.

It’s a deep part of me that is working through this because, at the surface level, I know I’m not behind.

That brought me to lesson #2 from a newsletter this past week.

Don’t compare your day 1 to others’ day 1000.

I’m just starting this journey in a much healthier headspace than I was some ten years ago when I tried it the first time.

Now, I’m doing it for me because I want to rather than because it’s what I should do.

And it’s my day 1.

What’s hard for me now will be easy for me in 100 days.

It will get better, easier, and more natural.

It will move from a habit into a lifestyle that just is rather than something I have to try to do.

Tomorrow, I hit 100 days of my yoga practice.

I hit 275 days of studying on Duolingo yesterday.

And it’s sinking in; it’s getting better; it’s becoming my life rather than a choice I make each day.

This is how your life changes. You build it one day at a time with a foundation of honesty with yourself.

 Journaling Prompt
Journaling is one of the most important things to do when exploring our own lives. A new prompt for you to use this week is below.

Is there a place in your life that you’re working on that you haven’t been honest with yourself?

Until next time, I wish you enough and send you off with love and a sense of urgency in your life.